Saturday, November 28, 2009

A Warn on Track 1

I am one to lead a fast paced life.
"Cue music, lights up.. and Jack, go."

However, this does not happen for me. Why?
The plank is in front of me, but the lineup is missing, the speakers are dead and the lights have blown.

I never get to the stage where there is a warn on the soundtrack.

This week, all i have planned is an interview with Ultimo Tafe for their Fashion Design Course. Thrilling.

Maybe it's time to hold a casting call...

Monday, November 23, 2009


Topshop is open in Oxford St, Sydney!

I went there with Dougie last week,
This is a piece by Kate Moss.

Now, time to deal with that money issue...

Sunday, November 22, 2009


In looking back at my previous posts, i must sound like a miserable obese person suffering from anorexia nervosa to an outsider. In all honestly, when it comes down to crunch time, i'm really not that obsessive over my weight, nor am i always such a negative nancy. This space is merely a form in which i can release my insecurities and emotions, and sometimes also create posts with my strange sense of humour oddly threaded through the dialogue.


Anyway, today i bumped into Leiden K from Scene Models again. She is SO SKINNY now. You may be thinking that this is a start to another rant on my oh so devastating struggle i have with anorexia, and you may be about right. With her being 6'1 and rail thin, It's a slap in the face. TIME TO GET BACK INTO PEAK CONDITION.

So Uppy and i are going to just wing a shoot on Thursday. That should be interesting - lugging a suitcase around the CBD, changing in public and posing on public property. I hope it's not going to be 40degrees yet again, Uppy wants to shoot me in a mink coat.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Spin, Spin.

I am once again, friendless, ugly and fat. Life is truly a cycle, as i have reverted to the same person i was 6 years ago.

People, once again, seemingly cannot surpass the threshold to my personality and they judge purely on face value. Even some people who already know me seem to act this way.

As my values and attitudes progress, theirs do not. They are not able to accept my new self, nor am i willing to compromise. Hence, we drift.

As subtle the word drift may sound, for me, it is truly quite sudden. Everyone slowly establishes an emotional disconnect with me, yet on the surface, they're peaches and cream. Then, at one given point and time, i do something which causes a social avalanche. They either all just drop off the face of the earth or treat me with hostility.

Ah the cycle begins once again. Time to find new friends, establish myself in new territory and hopefully nothing disastrous happens.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I feel like Gemma Ward

Oh come to me, the force of liposuction.

I am so confused. I have been following my infamous, infamous diet, of which resulted me in being labeled anorexic by many (AND as opposed to before, i've been excercising), yet I've been exponentially gaining weight. I've even lost definition in my arms.

Through my 4unitmathexpert calculations, i shall officially become overweight by April next year.

But for some reason, i doubt my obesity photos will land on the desk of BryanBoy.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Bittersweet Motivation

For some odd reason, I'm tempted to get off my ass and shoot right this moment.

Maybe it's because i don't want to become stagnant, now that all of high school is officially over.

Suddenly, though, I'm hit with a pang of pessimism. If Platform doesn't even want an interview with me anymore, who would? How am i going to build my career if I remain a freelancer forever?

Shall i just take the safe path and go to Tafe and work in retail on the side?

The end of my HSC brought so much optimism and joy, but now, its consists of much uncertainty.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Babbling on about art.

Today, i came to the realisation that i will no longer be getting a band six for my HSC art result. I realised, only about five hours after the exam, that i bullcrapped more than half the first section due to the fact that i couldnt recall any art agencies and how i was supposed to write about them, nor i did not understand the image given to me in another question.

Yay, no ArtExpress for me. Apparently i was a 'promising' student.

I then ran off to Calvin Klein and got my first luxury peice of non apparel. I shall not reveal what it is yet, for it shall be debuted at the formal.
I just hope i dont throw it into the spa whilst i'm in my little drunken mode during the after party or something.

I now feel like i have completed my journey toward academic failure. Hooray.

Friday, November 6, 2009

It has come to the point where...

diet alone isn't going to cut it for my body.

I've always been quite the lazy one when it comes to taking care of my body - i used to only eat about 5000kj a day and that kept me quite slim. However, now that I've taken on more food on a daily basis and I've also been doing weights, I've built quite the amount of muscle that I'm satisfied with. With that, though, came quite a bit of fat and I'm not fitting my clothes properly now. I really have to step up my game and cut down on the junk food, focus on maintaining a high protein diet and do some cardio. I have never bothered with cardio in my life, but ive concluded that in order to maintain my muscle mass, i can not cut down on my food intake, so i have to find another way to burn allll those kilojoules i consume.

Yay!! A life chained to the treadmill. I never seem to have the right balance of work and play. I used to obsess over the amount of kilojoules i would eat in a day and now i have to get off my ass and run. Sounds like a plan.

Oh the sacrifices i make for my own vanity.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Turns out a sales manager liked my fake ad and now im featured on the Avon youtube channel.


Midnight Project

So i know this blog is usually rants about models or school, but i decided to do something i haven't done in a while, a voice over.

Yes, i actually used to do voice overs. In fact, i wasn't all slim and pretty as i am now and i did have other ambitions. For example, a train driver when i was 4, an architect when i was 12, a newsreader when i was 14 and so on.

So here is the result:

The music, choice of images and slide were all done by me, along with the voice, of course.

By the way, this video came out of a creative spur i suddenly had after hearing my friend's ad for Avon on the radio.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Freya Beha: NO STOPPING?!
Magdelena: WTF#&@^$?!?!
Freya Beha: $(*#$%%^@!!!!!
Natalia: *pulls funny face and shrugs*

Ahaha i love watching raw moments.

Who is this person?!??!

He looks SOOO familiar!

I'm sure I've seen him on a cover or ad campaign before, but now i'm thinking it might have been somewhere else i shall not disclose.


If you're anything like me, you'd probably understand why I'm so baffled at this picture. [As in i found this whilst browsing through GWiP]

If he's a model.. then WHY?!?!?!?!? What's he trying to say??

EDIT: Okay, after some severe detective (stalk) work, I've found out that he is Tyler Davin. He's done a few covers for DNA and Mens Health and whatever. I should have known he was a fitness/glam boy.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

So I've decided..

that Shanghai is no longer on my destinations list for when i go to China next month.

Why? Shanghai would be purely for work. With already 11 agency interviews planned out in Hong Kong, I'm not sure how productive it would be since the Shanghai agencies are pretty much the same ones in HK.

So with 11 agencies lined up over there, I'd be a tool not to get signed. However, this whole agency thing is slightly overwhelming for me because if i do get signed, i'll be staying in China for a year or so with most probably no visits to Australia. Plus, im leaving with no formal goodbye and with no clue as to what the future holds.

On a similar note, my mum wants to holiday in China for 35 days! Obviously i'd be staying in China for an extended period of time if i did sign a contract, but 35 days for a holiday makes me a little nervous. A month away from what i call home is so... scary!

Well, either way, i'll be shitting my pants once the plane departs from Sydney.

The Queensland Boys

So here's another midnight rant from your favorite insomniac!

It's currently 2:27am and i need to get up early tomorrow to do makeup for a shoot in Mosman but my sleeping patterns are severely messed up.

As per usual, I'm trolling through Model Mayhem, this time, noticing that all the athletic Gold Coast boys hang out together! All of them!! How strange is that?!

Why cant we have all the slim, editorial guys hang out together here in Sydney? Is it because we have 2 kabajillion of them and competition is fierce? Is it because Sydney is too much work and not enough play? Is it because us editorial kids are all stuck up skanks?

We should totally get together and play footy together!
...Oh wait. We don't do that do we? Coffee and Cigarette fueled gossip sessions are only so good for a certain amount of times before we screw ourselves over with our mouths and the claws come out.

Well i guess i just answered my own question!

PS: Actually the real reason is probably because I'm out of the social circle altogether. I only just came up with that solution about 15 minutes after i wrote the blog. Smart cookie, i am.

I'm a racist gay person

I may or may not have had a small tiff over something completely trivial with someone who I'm sure is a genuinely kind person.

Oh who am i kidding?! That person deserves to die a horribly painful death. Both him and his sidekick. It angers me SO SO much that when we, as a discriminated kind, come together as a community in order to find social acceptance, we somehow still find ways to discriminate.

Today, for example, i lost my temper at someone who was completely condescending toward me in relation to the way i dress. This person somehow came to the conclusion that i shop at low end retailers without any supporting evidence. As petty as this may seem and as much as i do actually shop in all types of fashion stores, he really did cross the line. I know i shouldn't have gotten angry over such an insignificant issue, however this person continually puts other people down and he has his little side kick backing him up. Plus, people oblivious to his bitchy remarks have been completely defensive of him when people react. Its just extremely frustrating for me seeing people come into a community built solely for the purpose of supporting others, whilst they continue to discriminate regardless of this.

I have seen other examples where, out of sheer ignorance, there has been discrimination over race, class, physical attributes and whatever the hell else they can think of with people in the same community. This strikes me as extremely stupid and hypocritical, that we're together because we're being descriminated against, yet they still discriminate againts others because they fail to see past social steriotypes and poorly judged generalisations.

So, basically, i think the world sucks right now.


PS: I'm not actually a racist gay person. It's just an oxymoron i thought was suitable for this post.